Does the thought of any of your goals pose issues of needing willpower and discipline for you? Feel like you don’t have enough or catch yourself too often saying, “I just can’t get myself to do it.” Sound a bit too familiar? Even though you want something, it’s too hard for you to get yourself to follow through on what’s needed. Then you take it as a personal fault or weakness.
The good news is that I’m here to tell you today that there’s nothing inherently wrong with you. You just need some “adjusting”.
It’s similar with moving towards our goals. When you are fully in “alignment” with what you want or need to do, you don’t need to conjure up will power. You are driven to move like a well-tuned engine, versus one with some malfunctioning parts.
Here are some examples of how you can be “out of alignment”:
- There’s some kind of inner conflict. One part of you wants –x-, but another part wants to –y-; and it doesn’t seem like they can both happen. One part of you wants to exercise after work; and another part just wants to relax.
- You aren’t really connected to, or feeling the “why” behind the goal.
- There’s a belief that gets in the way, or an inner narrative that does not support you. For example, I was really dragging about writing this newsletter, until I became aware that I had in inner story going on about it being hard. Once I became aware of that, I decided that it doesn’t have to be hard. I have ways of allowing it to be easier! And now here I am writing away.
- You’re using ineffective motivation strategies, like talking to yourself like a task master. How often does telling yourself you “should” or “need to” do something really work? If it does, it’s usually not pleasantly.
- If your car were stuck, unable to move, it might not be too effective to just use willpower and discipline! You’d ask, “What’s getting in my way?”
- Listen to and take care of those thoughts that get in the way of you being able to follow through on a desire, versus just trying to drive over them; because they will keep showing up and keep making it difficult.
- Negotiate with your conflicting parts and find win-win solutions that address both of their concerns (i.e. in the example above, to be healthy and to relax)
- Challenge your unsupportive inner stories and beliefs. They’re not necessarily as true as they seem to you!
- Focusing on goals alone is sometimes like focusing on the route you’re taking to get somewhere. Do you get excited by thinking “I’m going to take the Mass Pike!” Or do you get excited thinking about where you’re going and fully imagining what it will feel like to actually be there? By imagining how your goal will feel when you’ve completed it, the journey there is just a logical step of the process that falls into place without much question; and it will be more fun along the way.
- Here’s a surprising tip, as an example. If you want to lose weight, don’t think about the actual exercising and eating less! Instead, fully imagine how great it will feel after you’ve exercised instead of feeling lazy and sluggish; and how great it will feel after you’re done eating to feel light instead of overstuffed.
- Focus on all the whys you want something, which is the vision you really care about, and you’ll act more through inspiration. There is so much more creativity and authentic power in that!
If you struggle with being able to figure this out on your own, then I encourage you to contact me for some help. There is no need to struggle. When you are fully aligned with your desires with effective strategies in place, as well, what you want will come easily without the need for willpower or discipline.
The Inner Way Weight Loss Program is a perfect example of this. By learning effective motivation strategies, resolving inner conflicts, and shifting ineffective inner stories and beliefs, participants (including me!) are easily moving towards their goals without deprivation or willpower.
If you struggle with your weight, please contact me to join us in our next group starting on April 2nd. If you know someone else who could use this program, please tell them about it.
Bathing suit season is coming up! How do you want to feel?
"I've been participating in this class and it's one of the best experiences of my life! I'm working out because I WANT to, I've virtually ended emotional eating, my clothes are looser and I'm really understanding that it's not about the food. It's about LOVE, acceptance, fun, joy, and compassion. Ann is an amazing coach, guide and all around wonderful human being. If you are struggling around food/diet/weight/health this is the class for you!" Annie J.
"The best part is that there has been absolutely no feeling of deprivation, as though I haven’t given up anything. And no feeling like I'm forcing myself to do anything, either. I feel instead as though I have been learning to increase my enjoyment while at the same time behaving in healthier, happier ways. The changes have been noticeable to my family, friends, and me. My energy level is better, too.” Joy L.
Supporting you in greater ease and joy, with a warm heart,