Blog Posts

How to relax even when there's not enough time.

2/18/2013

A happy, joy-filled day to you!

Lots of clients and program participants tell me they'd love to have more time to relax. It seems that every moment of the day is filled with something that needs doing. Can you relate to this? I call this being a "human doing" instead of a human being.

This weekend I also "worked", taking care of lots of family and business stuff. In spite of that, I'm not stressed or tired. Here's some of what I did:

First of all, as you probably already know, it's unlikely you'll take time off if you don't plan for it and commit to it. As soon as I helped a client do this recently, it easily happened. She now has some great plans with friends to look forward to; and since they're planned, they'll happen. This afternoon, I have a date planned with Mark to go for a hike in the woods, then a movie and out to eat. Like on the airplanes where they tell you to put on the oxygen mask first before anyone else, take care of yourself and you'll be better for everyone else, including your mood, your health, and how efficient and effective you are. Feeling good matters in SO many ways!

Secondly, how you go about doing what you're doing is critical.

Do you have an inner dialogue going on that's perpetuating your stress? Are you saying things to yourself like, "I'll never get this all done!" "I'm so tired. This sucks! I have to do this!" ? Is this how you'd talk to your best friend in your situation? What would you say to him/her? Speak to yourself kindly and in a way that will help you to relax and feel good.

Instead of using words like have to, should, and need to, acknowledge that you're really choosing to do what you're doing, and use language accordingly. Try "I want to do this in a way that's easy and joyful." It really works! And others involved will appreciate it, too.

I've got more tips. Just one more for today, though. There are always at least moments or short periods in the day that you're not actually "working", like when you shower, when you eat, and hopefully at least a bit of time before bed (again- plan for it!). When you're doing these, don't just do them as a mindless routine just to get them done or slip into them with exhaustion. Do them with deliberate intent to relax and feel good, with the frame and tone around them that this is your time that you're taking care of yourself, going to relax and enjoy yourself, and so on. You want to make it special, even if it's just sitting in front of the TV or taking a few moments stroking your pet. It makes all the difference in the world.

Here are some ways I do this:

I play relaxing music in the background while I work on the computer.
I acknowledge each thing I accomplish and feel good about it.
I make my lunch time special with good food presented nicely, even if it's just for a quick few minutes.
I often play music while in the kitchen.
As the day wraps up, I decide on something to look forward to and relax with, and make that special, too, like watching a show I really enjoy while cozying up in a quilted throw.
Before going upstairs to bed, I turn out all the lights, turn on my meditative music, and relax for a few moments into feeling good about my day and all that I did, and all that I have to be thankful for. My cat often feels this energy and climbs onto my lap, adding to the luxury of this time.

Now it's your turn! Let us know in the comments section below what works for you!

Of course, if you need more help, I'm always here for you. There's no need to struggle. Let your happiness and well-being be a priority, and from that all other good things you desire will flow to you.

E-mail me at [email protected] to arrange for a free Happiness Upgrade Activation to see if one of our private or group coaching programs is a fit for you.

Supporting you in greater ease and joy, with a warm heart,

Ann

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If thoughts were like money

2/3/2013

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A happy, joy-filled day to you!

I am so convinced of the power of our thoughts. I've experienced it in my own life and my clients' lives over and over and over.

Bruce Lipton, a scientist in epigenetics, studies the impact of our thoughts and beliefs on our genetic predispositions; and now has evidence that how you think and what you believe does indeed impact whether or not your predispositions actualize.

He suggests that we'd benefit by equating our thoughts with spending money, and considering the return on them. In other words, if you had to pay for each thought you had, would you waste it on thoughts that don't do you any good?

How do you know if they're doing you good or not? Well, it's quite simple. If you don't feel good after thinking them, then they're not doing you or anyone any good! It's like wasting your "money"!

New Possibilities for You

Use your thoughts (i.e. spend your "money") wisely! What you put your attention on expands. Perhaps you've heard of self fulfilling prophecies? It's like that!
My favorite analogy is that your mind is like a GPS. It will try its best to take you where you direct it to go. Your thoughts are those directions. For those of us who believe in the law of attraction, this analogy is taken to an even bigger scope of directing the Universe where to take you.
Learning this takes practice. Begin by at least noticing when you don't feel so good, and becoming aware of the thoughts just preceding those feelings. What inner narrative was going on? Pivot to a better feeling thought. Try out a better feeling perspective, as if you were supporting a good friend or loved one. How would you speak to them about that issue?
Need more help learning to manage and change your thinking patterns?

"Ann has an amazing gift in seeing the positive side of situations and getting to the root of negative thinking, and leading one to see the positive side of situations. I always started a session perceiving a situation as hopeless, but my perception would change drastically after our coaching session. I've accomplished more than the goals I set out to achieve when I began my work with her. My relationships have improved; I feel better about myself; I feel hopeful and calm about my future and am able to take courageous steps I never could before. I have strategies I can continue to use; and I am having so much more fun! " Melissa Z.

E-mail me to set up a free Happiness Upgrade Activation Session, and we'll explore what new possibilities we can create for you! This is a 45 minute one-on-one phone call with ME! Without attachment, I'm happy to be a catalyst towards you experiencing greater harmony, happiness and success.

E-mailed to me after one of these calls: "Ann, from my heart, thank you again for one of the most wonderful, enlightening and helpful conversations I've ever had in my life! You are very special and blessed; and have helped me so much in so little time. I felt like I could really talk with you openly and honestly, and that you really understood where I am coming from. " Phyllis

Supporting you in greater ease and joy, with a warm heart,

Ann

AnnIde@ NewPossibilitiesCoaching.com
http://www.newpossibilitiescoaching.com

Ann Ide, Master level NLP practitioner and certified NLP Life Coach Ann has over 30 years of teaching and coaching experience. Through her private and group coaching programs, she helps people to move beyond struggles and mere survival or feeling stuck, to new levels of harmony, happiness and success. With her expert questioning, inner exploration processes and deep personal change interventions that address each person's uniqueness, she helps people to more easily create the happiness they desire.

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Life’s beauty doesn’t only come in sunshine and warm weather

1/20/2013

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A joy-filled hello to you!

My friend Paul has been staying in Hawaii for awhile, after spending the summer and fall months on Martha’s Vineyard. He is always sharing his surrounding beauty and joyous experiences with his many friends on facebook; and everyone, including me, seems to really appreciate and vicariously enjoy it.

Life’s beauty doesn’t only come in sunshine and warm weather, though. I know Paul knows this, too; but since he is my inspiration for this writing today, this is for you Paul, and I hope all my readers get to enjoy it, too. I invite you to step inside my experience along with me, letting it fill your senses in whatever way happens for you. Then sometime soon try the process I used and explain later for yourself, and find out how good it makes you feel!

I wrote this on Thursday, Jan. 17th.

It snowed yesterday, here in Massachusetts; and today it is gloriously sunny. I drive 3 minutes from my home to Callahan State Park where I walk on a regular basis through the old forest.

As I begin my walk, the crisp morning air is refreshingly cold on my face and smells so clean as I deeply breathe it in. As I continue to walk, the feeling on my cheeks brings me back to feeling like a child playing outdoors in the snow with rosy, red, cold cheeks and not having a care other than the snow and me.

The snow is still clinging fresh and white to every tree branch and along the trunks. The contrast of dark bark and the white snow is striking and shows off the myriad patterns of branches reaching every which way and that, and the thick solid trunks anchored into the earth. I walk over and hug one, feeling its hugeness and strength and solidity and its tall reaching into the sky. The energy is magnificent and I take it with me.

Reminders of thriving abundance abound everywhere I look. A dense forest of old trees and new ones making their way up. What stories could these trees tell?

Snow crystals and water droplets glisten everywhere in the trees and bushes and pine needles like an abundance of sparkling diamonds in the sun; the dripping, melting snow a reminder to enjoy this precious moment now and now and now.

Nothing but me and the quiet of spirit surrounding and through me, interspersed with the crunching snow under my physical feet, the sound of the dripping snow, and occasional birds singing and calling. Ahh.. but it’s all spirit, all one.

As I articulate my thoughts and feelings to myself, it seems to enhance them, letting them linger and grow and flow into the next; building into an ever growing crescendo of feeling good energy.

By the end of my walk, I take my jacket off, so warmed by the invigorating energy flowing through me.

It’s a good day. Happy, thank you, more please!

New Possibilities for You

I love to look around wherever I am, and see and sense the presence of beauty, of Spirit, if you like to think about it that way. I sure do. What simple ways can you do this? Can you see it in the faces around you? Out your window? How can you hear it? In laughter? Energetic conversation? Music? The wind?
Like I did, I highly recommend articulating your positive thoughts and feelings about this to yourself, as if you were going to write about it to a friend. See for yourself if it will sharpen your focus and attention, raise your awareness, and deepen the felt experience.
Appreciate this flow state you’ve just created, and nurture it so it will continue into your next activity; and enjoy! The point of being is joy, after all; and say, “Happy, thank you, more please!”

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Is this really possible?

11/28/2012

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Happy day to you!

Imagine the last day you had when you felt really relaxed and happy, like when you were on a vacation. (Hope you didn’t have to go too far back!) Would it be nice to feel that way every day? Okay, maybe every day is a bit too perfectionist. How about most days? And, how about when you’re having a not so great day, you could not be stuck with that, but you could shift it into being a better day?

Is this really possible? The answer is totally YES! We have lots of strategies for this. It’s what New Possibilities Coaching is all about.

I know it feels like what kind of day you’ll have depends on the circumstances of the day. However, let me remind you again of this most important statistic. Only 10% of your happiness is determined by your outer circumstances! The rest is determined by how you think about your circumstances and life. How you feel is really up to you.

That’s a big responsibility! But it’s also great. Because if it weren’t up to you, you’d be a victim to your circumstances, with little choice about how you feel. So the good news with this responsibility is that you have way more control available to you than you might think or might be using!

And, just in case you forgot, or are new to this, let me also remind you again of how important being happy is. Research shows that happiness is the fuel that allows your brain to be more successful at achieving all the goals you desire. It impacts every area of your life. People who are happy:

Work better

Have better brain health and memory
Have 31% more energy
Have up to 30% decrease in heart disease
Get sick less often and are generally healthier
Are more successful at losing weight
Make better decisions
Have better relationships
Are more successful at achieving everything they care about!

Believing in the law of attraction, this makes total sense to me. When you’re happy, you’re aligned with your greater Spirit-Self and the creative energy of the Universe; and when you’ve tuned into this vibrational frequency, it allows the manifestation of what you have asked for.

So here’s my happiness strategy for you today.

New Possibilities for You!

Ever know someone who even gets stressed out on vacation; or maybe you’ve seen them? They definitely exist. This shows you that it’s not the vacation itself, the circumstance, which allows you to be happy and relaxed. It’s the state of mind you automatically put yourself in and the permission you give yourself that allows it.

· If you can, for a moment, recapture how you feel inside when you're on vacation.

· What kinds of thoughts and inner dialogue do you have?

For me, there’s an inner calm and an anticipation of good times and feeling good. I'm less attached to a schedule and "have to's"; and instead am aware of the freedom of choosing moment to moment.

Now, if you were to pick up almost any book on spirituality, I bet you would find suggestions that what I just mentioned is an enlightened state to aim for - an attitude towards life worth trying, to create a life worth living.

When I apply these same attitudes to my normal, non-vacation days, I feel good, and work and the day unfold more easily.

The trick is in finding a way to feel good about your day, to anticipate it, and to feel good about all the choices you’re making. They’re not really “have- to’s”. You’re choosing to do them; so how can you feel good about that?

Do you think maybe sometimes you’re creating struggle rather than joy?

You DO know how to create joy! You did it on those happy, relaxed, vacation days.

What inner narratives, beliefs and choices that you make on vacation can you transfer to your every day?

Real harmony and happiness is created from within. I invite you to play around with this strategy and give it a try.

If you live near Metro West Mass., and you’d like some help with this and to be guided through it by me, join us on Friday evening, Dec. 7th, for our free evening of guided meditations on creating ease and joy.

And if you’d like to learn and embody all of our fundamental strategies and beliefs for living with ease and joy and experiencing greater harmony, happiness and success, I can’t encourage you enough to sign up for one of our New Possibilities Coaching Programs.

Please don’t put off the happiness you deserve any longer. Let your happiness and well-being be a priority, and from that all other good things you desire will flow to you.

E-mail me at [email protected] to arrange for a phone call to see if one of our private or group coaching programs is a fit for you.

Supporting you in greater ease and joy, with a warm heart,

Ann

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The 3 determinants of happiness and 3 really, really simple steps to happiness you can take

11/15/2012

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Smile!

A warm, joy-filled hello to you!

I saw another network TV show recently on the importance of happiness! I’ve been claiming that happiness is the key to everything that’s important to you for a long time, as have many spiritual teachers, including the Dalai Lama. It’s nice to see it getting even more exposure and grounding in research.

In case you didn’t know this, there are supposedly three determinants of your happiness: your genetics, your life circumstances, and how you think, perceive and interpret. The latter is the one most within your control. In fact, the science of epigenetics has now proven that you can even change your genetic tendencies through your thoughts and beliefs, because they affect your biology.

Research shows that only 10% of your long-term happiness is determined by your external world. 90% is determined by your thinking processes and the world you create within. 90%! So learning how to manage your thoughts in a way that positively supports you is pretty important!

Today I want to offer you three really, really simple things within your control that you can do to create and build more happy moments into your life, rather than waiting for them to happen through circumstances. After all, a happy life is just made up of many happy moments.

New Possibilities for You!

Deliberately smile! Your brain actually responds by putting more of the feel-good chemical neurotransmitter dopamine into your system when you smile. It will make you feel even better! Your brain won’t know whether you’re genuinely smiling or faking one! In studies, they had people just bite down on a pencil so the corners of their mouths turned up like in a smile, and it still worked! And, you’ll find that your thoughts will soon begin to match, as well. I tested this the other day. I just sat with my face in the sun, smiling on purpose; and I felt glorious for hours afterwards. How easy is that? Try it and see for yourself.

“Frame it” This is a little game I’ve just naturally played since forever. Make a little frame with your hands and fingers, and look about you like a photographer or artist, and look for something worth framing, as long as it makes you feel good looking at it. You’ll be amazed at all there is that’s special around you.

Deliberately create some pleasure. It can be simple, like sitting with your face in the sun for a few minutes (and remember to smile, too!); or taking your shower or bath with the deliberate intent of it being pleasurable, rather than just doing it to get clean; or instead of just eating your meal, setting the intention to really enjoy it; or setting the intention to enjoy your drive to work. Get the idea?

Pretty much everything I share with you in my writings and in my programs is about how to shift your thinking so you can experience more inner harmony and happiness. We get into this in great detail, with experiential exercises and practices to help you embody them, in our New Possibilities Fundamentals Group Coaching Program. You’ll leave the program with the fundamental mindsets, beliefs and strategies to be your best self and live your best life, one filled with greater ease and joy. Taking this program is an investment in the ability to create and manage your happiness, and thus the future you desire. Priceless. Don’t be at the effect of your life any longer. New Possibilities are possible for you! Read about it here:

http://www.newpossibilitiescoaching.com/the-fundamentals-program.html

Remember, there’s no need to continue with the same struggles in your life. Life can get better and better, filled with new possibilities for greater harmony, happiness and success. It's a joy and honor to serve you along your way!

Supporting you in greater ease and joy, with a warm heart,

Ann

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How to Never Lose Your Power

11/2/2012

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A joy-filled good day to you!

First of all, I hope you’ll join me in sending love and positive thoughts of calm, courage and resourcefulness to anyone still affected by Hurricane Sandy. Let’s all focus on the more positive future that they are now yearning for. My wish is also that very soon they’ll be able to look back and acknowledge the growth that can also occur out of the midst of chaos, if you allow and reflect on it; which brings me to my personal lessons from this stormy week. I’m hoping they’ll serve you, as well.

How to never lose your power

I don’t know if this happened for you, but during the storm on Monday, I couldn’t focus on much of anything other than the storm for the life of me. From what I’ve learned about our brain and biology, this is because my brain was literally focused on the life of me, triggered into survival mode by the threats I perceived and was focused on.

I didn’t actually feel like my life was at risk; but I did feel like my life as I prefer it was at risk; and this triggers the part of your brain that only deals with survival and limits the higher functioning frontal lobe.

Perhaps similar experiences to this happen throughout your day:

You’ve got a work deadline that you worry about meeting and the possible negative consequences (risks) if you don’t.
There’s a lot of traffic, and you might be late, which might mean more possible risks.
You’ve got a never-ending “to-do” list, and it all needs to get done or else…
Someone you care about is having some kind of perceived problem, and you’re concerned about the consequences.

Get the idea of how we create a sense of potential danger? Unfortunately, most often this happens out of your normal awareness. And, when we go into survival mode, we’re less likely to be our best at taking care of what we care about in the first place!

When it’s not really a true life or death situation, triggering your brain into this survival mode does nothing to serve you or anyone else. In fact, it can be unhealthy and even harmful.

So what do you do?

First of all, you need to recognize the signals for when you’re operating out of survival mode. What’s the best clue? Check in with how you feel. If it’s not good, check internally as to what your inner dialogue is like. When I did this during the storm, I noticed I was repeatedly thinking, “I don’t want the power to go out.” And, guess what? It went out! A lot of good that kind of thinking does, right? I tried to be more positive, but unsuccessfully. The howling wind got the best of me.

So then I started repeatedly thinking, “I don’t want my food to go bad.” Aware again of the useless, negative track I was on, and that just trying to change my thinking wasn’t working, I decided to try a different strategy. I shifted my focus to the sense of peace I could feel in my home, and to the positive aspects of the whole experience: more time with my family to relax and have extended, unrushed conversations; the glow of candlelight; that this will only be temporary, and so on. This worked quite well for me! I got bored, but I stayed calm and peaceful; and, as my brain was freed up, I eventually got more resourceful in terms of how to entertain ourselves and to find ways to work around the no power limitations.

New Possibilities for You!

Pay attention to how you feel. If it’s not good, then breathe, center and soothe yourself by shifting your inner dialogue to a more positive one that’s still believable, or experimenting with different strategies that will help you to shift your focus until you feel better. Don’t give up! If one strategy doesn’t work, then try something else!

Let go. Although I was staying fairly calm and positive throughout our power outage, I’m now aware that there was still an undertone of impatience. By Wed. evening, arriving home to cold and dark, I started to really feel it. I’m glad for that increased awareness, because I was then reminded to take care of it. Thursday morning, I brought myself to a place of being prepared and okay with having no electricity through the weekend. I created a scenario that allowed me to feel okay about it again. And then… a couple of hours later, the electricity returned! Letting go of being attached to one outcome not only feels better, it allows what you desire to come to you.

I also became more aware of how entitled we tend to feel about all that we’re used to having. Electricity and everything else is not owed to us. It’s all a gift! Appreciate it all as such and not only will you feel great, you also become more powerful.

Those 3 days without power felt slow and long at times; but within an hour of having it back, I looked back and thought, “Was it only three days?” What a difference perspective can make! When you’re struggling with something, imagine yourself in the future when it’s resolved, and look back. That “problem” may not seem so big, after all.

Lastly, remember, when you have the right strategies available to you and you use them, you may lose your electricity, but you will never lose your power!

An example from one of our past New Possibilities Fundamentals Program members:

“ I was thinking yesterday about how September is usually a very stressful time for me. In fact, in the past this time of year, I have ended up in the ER with chest pains and numbness in my arms for 2 years in a row. After running lots of tests, the doctors found that there was nothing medically wrong. They told me that I was probably stressed. September is the beginning of Fall (which I love), but it's a transitional time -- the kids start school; my work load tends to increase; I'm usually training for a fall marathon or half-marathon, etc, etc.

This year, I haven't even felt "stressed". Sure, I've been busy --with all of those same things and even more. The idea of being "stressed" to me now seems so manufactured. Once I start feeling less connected to my inner-calm, I bring myself back as much as possible. I'm getting better and better at it, and it feels good.

I'm so happy that I joined the New Possibilities program, and I think so many others could benefit from doing the same. Thank you! Thank you!” -April Ropes

If you could use some strategies for improving how you feel and having all that you desire, please read about our upcoming New Possibilities Fundamentals Program scheduled for this coming January! Wahoo! We haven’t had this program in a year, and we can’t wait to do it again and share in everyone’s personal transformations. Click here: http://www.newpossibilitiescoaching.com/the-fundamentals-program.html

Supporting you in greater ease and joy, with a warm heart,

Ann

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Do you have to work hard to be happy and get what you want?

3/9/2012

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A joy-filled good day to you!

The other day one of our program members was sharing with me how she doesn’t want to have to “work” anymore using her strategies for managing her moods and thoughts, and to manifest what she wants. Even though they consistently help her to shift to feeling good and she now feels good more often than not, and she has also now manifested an amazing job that she loves (which she didn’t believe was possible before she started our program); she just didn’t want to have to use her strategies anymore.

We spoke for over an hour, as there are many angles to approach this complex topic. For now, I want to share one aspect of it that I think you’ll find as valuable as she did.

It’s my belief that we didn’t come into physical form to feel good 100% of the time. Yes, we are joy seekers; but the greatest joy we came for is in the process of creating and becoming more. When you’re in tune to this, and you have the strategies in place to do it well, there can be a thrill to knowing that your “becoming more” is in process and in having the expectation that it will happen in due time.

Your life leads you to your next level of growth; and recurring feelings that don’t feel so good and the recycled inner stories creating them are your inner guidance “calling” you to the steps you need to take to become more. They’re like the seeds for your next level of growth and for what’s possible for you!

This is why I’ll get excited and happy for you when you call me and tell me about your challenges, or how you’re unhappy with this or that. I’ll hear what you’re being called to do. I’ll see and know what’s possible for you!

What do you enjoy doing that some people consider work? Maybe you love gardening, or sewing, or renovating, or playing a particular sport. You enjoy the process of the creating as well as the end result, right?

I invite you to look at your life the same way. Instead of thinking of personal growth as work, focus on it as a creative process. How exciting that you have this opportunity to expand, to create, and to become and have more!

Expecting to do so without using effective strategies is like expecting to win a game without playing. Notice, you don’t “work” a game, do you? You play it!

So, do you have to work hard to be happy and get what you want? My answer is: only if you look at it that way.

New Possibilities for You

Do you have an area in your life in which you recurrently struggle or have undesirable feelings?
What desires are being created by those feelings? What new level of personal growth is this calling you towards?
Do you keep squashing those feelings, or live with them day in and day out with resigned acceptance or by settling for less?
What strategies do you have for creating your breakthrough, for playing and winning at this game of being human? Use them!
If you don’t have effective strategies, please consider participating in our New Possibilities Fundamentals Program. We’ve got pretty much all the fundamental strategies you’ll need. Think about it. You take the care to learn strategies for being effective in other areas of your life. What would your life be like with effective strategies for creating, expanding, and experiencing greater harmony, happiness and success? We would love to partner with you in this adventure!

Here’s a testimonial from our program this fall:

“I feel more relaxed about my future. I feel more confident that I can be happy and that things will work out well. I have greater faith in the universe and really am enjoying that I don’t know what will happen. It’s fun to realize that I have the power and skills to take responsibility for taking steps in new directions. The world truly is full of choices and possibilities.

I now regularly remind myself that I create my every moment. All of the resources I need are available, ready to be combined in an infinite number of ways… like a painter has infinite possibilities in combining paint molecules on a canvas…according to any unique vision he/she is inspired to see.

I learned and grew more during the few months I spent attending Ann and Mark’s New Possibilities group coaching program than I learned through prior years of therapy. Ann and Mark offer you tools and techniques to positively restructure your thinking and your life. They believe in your power to let your true self shine and you will too!”

There’s no need to continue with the same struggles in your life. Please don’t put off the happiness you deserve any longer. Let your happiness and well-being be a priority, and from that all other good things you desire will flow to you.

E-mail me at [email protected] to arrange for a phone call to see if one of our private or group coaching programs is a fit for you.

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Forward>>

How to relax even when there's not enough time.

If thoughts were like money

Life’s beauty doesn’t only come in sunshine and warm weather

Is this really possible?

The 3 determinants of happiness and 3 really, really simple steps to happiness you can take

How to Never Lose Your Power

Do you have to work hard to be happy and get what you want?

Hope you enjoy my "Happy Moments" blog; because a happy life is just a series of happy moments. Feeling Good Matters!

Ann Ide

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